I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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