well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
