his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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