did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
