Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
