I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
