Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
