During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
