let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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