Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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