even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it penis luge time yet?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
