whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
