In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
