@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
