let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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