Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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