that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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