So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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