When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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