marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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