I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
