wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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