Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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