I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
