She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
