Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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