Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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