Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
