oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
