He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
