he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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