you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You are a genius and a whore.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
