lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
