Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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