Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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