Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
