It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
