I don't think brook has ever known best
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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