The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize