when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
