I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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