I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
