It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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