You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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