"it" just moved
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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