He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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