I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
