dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
