he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
