he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
