her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think your dad took our porno
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
