just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
only if we run a train.
done.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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