After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
