okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
