...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
