i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
