and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
