Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
