Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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