No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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