everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
