I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
