You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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