My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
