That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
