this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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